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Here is another of my magnificent hobbies, Morris Dancing!! What a joy it is to get your knees up in the air and feel the wind between your legs. I hope you'll enjoy reading about my passion for this as much as I do taking part in such a smegging great hobby!!

Morris Dancing Teams can be found all over Great Britain, you can also find them in other, unlikely places such as Canada, the U.S.A., Hong Kong and Australia. Many people would recognise this essentially English tradition but what exactly is it? It's origins are vague, and many different theories have been expounded on it's beginning. Some believe that the dances seen today are derived from the French Moresque or the Spanish Morisca dances of the late 15th and early 16th Centuries.

The picture on the left is the Stockport Morrismen. I took this on a visit to watch them perform. I sometimes while away the small hours flicking through my Morris Dancer picture collection, shame everyone else seems to fall asleep suddenly when I get them out for everyone to look at.

Ah, well, they're missing a real treat!!

Others put forward the theory that the dances are the remains of pre-Christian fertility rites for soil and crops. Certainly by the end of the 16th Century Morris dancing had become established as a form of entertainment often accompanying the seasonal celebration of the coming of the Spring and Autumn harvests.

The picture on the right is of the Flag Crackers of Craven. You can see me in this picture, I'm the nearest one on the left of the picture. Maaahvelous times, maaahhhhhvelous!!!!. Great guys, greats times, great meal in the pub afterwards!

After these times the dances went through many changes and at least six regional variations developed, each one clearly different and each one contained within a particular geographical area of England. The upsurge in the interest in the Morris today has meant that these styles have been taken out of their "home" counties to be performed all over the country but their origins can still be detected.

On the left is more fantastic Morris Dancing action!! The clonk of wood on wood, is there any sweeter sound? other than Listers head being repeatedly smashed on my knee? If you can find one I'll beg to differ!! Just look at the Border Morrismen in action there, it brings a tear to my eye just remembering that day. Some bastard hit me in the privates!!

I'm sure you'll be wondering: 'How do you recognise different Morris Dancing teams?' well I'll give you some tips:

The Morris of the Cotswold areas are typified by the waving of handkerchiefs and the wearing of bells strapped to the dancers legs. North-West Morris dancers wear colourful costumes, with clogs on their feet. Yorkshire Longsword dances can be recognised by their circular formation and the swords used to link the dancers.

On the left you'll see the Plum Jerkum from Lincolnshire. I remember that this was a very enjoyable day and the show they put on is absolutely fantastic. Afterwards I got to mingle with fellow Morris Dancing enthusiasts in the Jolly Fisherman (pictured behind). It was a great night, I woke up at 3 am, chained to a lamppost wearing a pair of pink socks, a necklace with the name 'Cindy' on it and a note Sellotaped to my leg that read 'Here lies Arnold Rimmer, a complete bastard!'... those guys know how to have fun!!

So's not to get into trouble these pictures and information is from Martin's Morris Dancing Page. Who's Martin? ....what are you looking at me for! :)