back
in the red:
KRYTEN
Kryten takes to the hot seat:
Interviewee: Kryten
Matt: My third
interview was with the sanitation droid
Kryten
Kryten: It was a
pleasure sir
*Kryten
get's out a brush-o-matic and starts
doing my lapels*
Matt: Er....what
are you doing Kryten?
Kryten: Don't
worry sir, just a spot of dust
Matt:
Ok......er....enjoy my Interview with
Kryten below.................can you get
off now please!!
1.
Have you achieved any life-long
ambitions?
K:
Well, being a pre-programmed
droid I don't have any ambitions,
but I was very pleased to get the
biggest stain out of Mr Lister's
stiffist pair of long johns,
unfortunately by doing so I think
I have erradicated 37 new life
forms
|
2.
Which crew member/s do you like
the most?
K: Mr
Lister, I love Mr Lister, sir
M: I
hope thats not in a sexual way,
especially with the size of your
groinal attachment
|
3.
And which crew member/s do you
dislike the most?
K:
*mumbles*
M:
huh?
K: MS
KOCHANSKI!!!!!!
*smoke
starts to come out of Kryten's
ears*
|
4.
If you could change place's with
anyone in the Universe, who would
it be?
K:
Hmmmmm, well I'm happy enough as
myself, sir
M: It
can be anyone
K:
Well, there is one person I'd
love to change places with
M:
Ooooh, who?
K:
The person who invented the self
emptying dustbag
M:
Yes I agree what a fascinating
person thery must have been, it's
just so much easier not having to
empty it yourself!!
K: I
sense 'Sarcasm Mode' sir!
M:
Me!!? Sarcastic? Never!!
|
5.
Did it hurt when you dropped your
entire groinal box into Rimmer's
soup?
K: If
you don't mind sir, I'd rather
not talk about that - I was so
embarrassed, I had to have my
head replaced - twice, just to
get the hideously guilty
expression off my face. Do you
have any conception of how
shameful such an episode is for a
mechanoid? Let me see if I can
find a suitable human equivalent
- it would be like turning up at
a biker's club dressed like Noel
Edmonds!!
by,
Sarah aka Ageing Dwarfer
|
6.
What do you really think of
Rimmer?
K:
He's a Smee.. he's a
smeeeeee...he's a smeeeeeeeeeg
heeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaadddddddd!!!
|
7.
Why did you kill the crew of the
Nova 5?
K: I
didn't kill them it was an
accident!
M:
Well cleaning the console with a
bucket of soapy water was
certainly a stupid thing to do!
K: I
was upset sir, Bruce was cheating
on Shiela in Androids, my
circuits were on 'Concern'
overload!
|
8.
You've been on Red Dwarf for many
year's now, what thing has scared
you the most?
K:
The contents of Mr Lister's
Underpants after a 24 hour curry
binge
|
9.
What type of Android loses his
Nanobots?
K: A
stupid one! wait........
M:
*laughs*
|
10.
And finally, what is a 'Smeg
Hammer'?
K:
Let me just process the 4 hour
break-down on this particular
instrument
M: 4
Hours!!! Just tell me what it's
for!?
K:
Well, it's for loosening Mr
Lister's underwear
M:
Thank You!!
Question
from, Kelly Cowley
|
Many
Thank's to Kryten for the Interview
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